if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
