i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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