i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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