is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
