im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize