she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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