Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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