i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I need to stop coming to work sober
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Randomize
