So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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