It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
