I accidentally had phone sex last night
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
This is the high leading the old right now
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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