It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
