just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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