Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
