and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
