Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize