yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
