How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
