He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
