just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
