dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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