mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
