I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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