Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
