I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
