do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize