Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
