in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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