I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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