ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize