12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
