I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
