Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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