Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
