problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
