I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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