i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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