Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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