I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
