So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
ugly people sure do ruin things
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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