this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
