i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
