Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
