I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You peed on a flamingo?!?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
