She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
