Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
