So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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