Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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