I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
