Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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