I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize
