Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
