Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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