Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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