Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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