So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
