sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
