How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
