whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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