She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
