is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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