Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
