Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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