Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
