I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
